A Testimony of Peace

My previous testimony turned out to be such a blessing to me, and that is to Gods glory, not mine. He answered my prayers as I spoke by giving me His peace that passes understanding. For me to stand in front of any size group, and to even speak plainly, is beyond my understanding and definitely any past experience. That was undeniable validation to me that He hears my prayers and provides what I need as step out in obedience to Him. I thank God for that and I give Him all the glory! But today I have to say that Satan is trying to destroy that testimony and steal my peace, and not just mine, but others as well. Whether he is trying to outright steal it, or while we are looking more to the storm, just let it slip into his hands. Either way, we have to stop allowing this! Romans 8: 14-16 tells us we are God’s children. 1 John 4:4 says, "You, dear children, are from God and have overcome them, because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world. Proverbs 4:23 says, above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life. Ephesians 4:27 …and do not give the devil a foothold. Well I let my guard down and in so doing, gave the devil a foothold. And before I realize it, I was knocked down on the ground. I’m not talking about an outright act of sin and defiance as you might think. I'm talking about the battle in my mind. The one that overspills into my heart and before I know it, I feel like ground zero. Just completely beat up and so very tired in all three aspects of my life - spirit, soul and body. So I make like an Eve and I run and hide, I go AWOL. Being so ashamed, I would - in the past - stay away from church, away from God and everyone. I would shut myself off emotionally. Well, the last couple of days, that is exactly where I was headed. I got home Saturday after what- to me- was an incredibly absurd ordeal and a three hour drive home filled with tears and anger at the situation and myself as well. I just wanted to go home, go to bed, power down and not think about it. (I dropped the ball …. again) Instead a grabbing God’s word and suiting up in His armor, I succumbed to my feelings (which I may as well jump all the way in... included a couple of slammed doors. A pretty picture isn't it ?) I want so much to have solid spiritual food to grow up strong in Christ, and for him. Yet I am once again clinging to that old milk bottle. It is so discouraging. (But thank God it doesn’t have to end there! ) I went straight to bed. This is 1 o’clock in the afternoon. At this point I knew I was NOT coming to church today. I didn’t deserve it , I didn’t feel like going. I knew it would be too uncomfortable and hypocritical even though no one else would know I didn’t plan on getting up until I had to get the kids on Monday morning. I laid there maybe 30 minutes and all I could think of was my son is going to call or come by and ask why I am in bed at this hour. He would see through any answer I fabricated he would have “felt” it! I didn’t want him to worry or be upset. And I certainly did not want anything “ugly” to touch him! So that was it I got up granted I was dragging my feet, but I was up. So I left the house to run a couple of errands but to no avail the devil still had a couple of things to throw my way. But God, had already picked me up, so I just hung on. Back at the house. I really do need just a short nap I mean I’m tired! Two days straight being emotionally drained is physically tiring. I don’t think I’d laid there even 15 minutes and Bible verses started popping up in my head. God said to me “Write it Down.” (and honestly, this is how the silent conversation went.) I whined, “ oh, please, Lord all my stuff is in the car. Just remind me in a little bit and I will write it down. I am so tired. I just got comfortable cozy and even a little relaxed please just a little bit?” And he simply said, “ write it down… this is your testimony.” I came back with, “ but I gave a testimony and look what has happened not what I think an Overcomer looks like I mean the devil kicked me hard because I testified I have egg on my face” So this confession/testimony is in obedience to God. Believe me, I did not want to throw myself under the bus, so to speak. I am a private person generally, and I would never want to “ air my dirty laundry” in front of people. It’s utterly embarrassing! I know I’m not alone. It’s surprisingly common, however unfortunate. But 2 Corinthians 4:8 says, we are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. Psalms 108:13 please God we will get in the victory, and he will trample down our enemies. So I stand here covered in the blood of my Jesus, standing for my Father in heaven, who is the Righteous Judge. With you all, as my witnesses, I am rebuking, the accuser of the brethren, in the mighty name of Jesus! The name that is above every name, including the names of depression and anxiety! He who is in me is greater! My God is bigger! He is greater! He is stronger! Romans 8:37 tells me I am more than a conqueror through Christ. Revelation 12:11 tells me, I am an Overcomer by the blood of the lamb, and the word of my testimony! If you battle such as , I plead with you, don’t keep it to yourself and try to hide it. Don’t withdraw or run away. Bring it to the light, God’s light. Expose it. Draining it of it’s power and the devil can’t hold it against you! Talk to someone